Ammunition > Heroics

So I never ended up posting another thingy yesterday; I kinda forgot. Oh well.

Anyway, first of all, I started this forum RPG thing, which you can find here.
Basically, either it's going to sound really cool to you, or it's going to sound like the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard.
If it's the first case, then you should join; otherwise, know that it's been done before, and I'm not nearly as crazy as you... OK, yeah, I am crazy. But this has nothing to do with it.
Anyway, just read the "Rules and Guidelines" section, but basically, it's just like one of those RPG board games (Like D&D or something like that?) except without the board.

OK, on to puppets. So, recently I've been doing these weird impression things. I don't mean like a "Mickey Mouse impression" or an "Elvis impression," I mean like a "stereotypical fairy tale witch impression" or a "hillbilly one-room schoolhouse teacher impression." It makes people laugh, but I'm almost certain this is just because it's totally ridiculous and bizarre, and not that it's actually funny. I'm not sure why these get started, but it usually goes like this:

Molly: *giggle*
Me: What are you giggling about?!
*giggle*
Cut it out!
*giggle*
{witch voice} Cut it out, or I'll bake you into a PIE!
*giggle*
Oh, you stop that, little girly!
...
Much better. Now I won't bake you into a pie. Instead I'll just run with scissors in your general dy-rection!

Yeah, that's pretty much how it goes. Or, really, it was exactly (more or less) how it was earlier today. Anyway, this got me thinking. I've really gotta make me some puppets. So then, when I have these puppets, I can do these awesome puppet shows and record them and stuff, and you all can see them and everything.
So basically, I need some styrofoam, and fabric, and those weird little googley eyes and stuff like that. And then I'm gonna make PUPPETS! Of course, I don't know if this is ever going to happen. Still, it's fun to talk about.
I thought of a lot of funny situations I could do, and then got the idea of adding in some of those characters I mentioned earlier from the tape recording things.
So here are some ideas I had, in a sort of script-ish form (by the way, if it looks like I'm making fun of a person or group, I'm not. It's just the characters themselves that are funny [or supposed to be anyway], not the sort of people they are):

{1}
Mac- A purple mouse
Witch- An evil witch. Doesn't need a name.

Witch: (appears in a cloud of smoke or something) Aha! I see you're wearing a magical-looking hat. Nobody wears that kinda hat unless they're interested in MAGIC!
Mac: And?
Witch: MWEEHEEHEE! I KNEW IT!
Mac: OK, well, actually that's not technically true, because--
Witch: What's not true?! Are you callin' me a liar?!
Mac: Well, you just said I was interested in magic and--
Witch: Well what kinda maniac wears a hat like that and DON'T do magic?!
Mac: Me. And I'm not a maniac, actually. See, I prefer alchemy.
Witch: Well what's the difference?!
Mac: Magic is such a vague word. It's like it refers to mysterious, unexplainable stuff.
Witch: Well how the eye-of-newt do you explain MAGIC?!
Mac: You don't. Alchemy, on the other hand, is easily explained. It involves transmuting substances by manipulating them on a sub-molecular scale by reapplying aether using its unique metaphysical properties.
Witch: I don't understand a word you just said.
Mac: That doesn't mean it's not explained, though.
Witch: In my book it does, ratty! So, MAGIC!
Mac: I just said--
Witch: MAGIC!! See, I'm an expert on magic. I bet I could help you out.
Mac: I doubt it.
Witch: Oh yeah?! Can YOU fly on a BROOMSTICK?!
Mac: A what?
Witch: BROOMSTICK! (pulls broom out of thin air) It's the latest form of travel you know. Very "in."
Mac: Look, really, I don't want to learn about how to fly a broom around.
Witch: YES, YOU DO!
Mac: Umm, no, I DON'T.
Witch: Well, I didn't think it'd come to this, but I'm gonna hafta BAKE YOU INTO A PIE!
Mac: Er... don't you need an oven for that?
Witch: NO! That's what magic is for, you FREAK!
Mac: (mumbling) she's calling me a freak....
Witch: (searches through a bag) Oh, cait sidhe. I left my magic wand in the cauldron at home!
Mac: So you can't bake me after all. Ha.
Witch: THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK!
Mac: No, actually, I'm pretty sure that you can't.
Witch: (mumbling) Curses. I think he's right. (out loud) Well, I'll just have to RUN with SCISSORS in your general dy-rection!! (pulls out scissors)
Mac: Umm?
Witch: (chases Mac off-stage)
Mac: AAHHHHH!

{2}
Teacher- Hillbilly-ish farmer-y guy with a straw hat.
Students- A bunch of random kids in overalls or something
Nerd- Nerdy-looking kid with glasses.

Teacher: OK, kids. Today we're a-gonna learn about com-pound words. Them's words that's two words, except only one.
Students: (look confused)
Teacher: I'll show ya'll what I mean. See, I'll write it on the chalkboard. And that's a good a-zample, too. (writes "chok" and "bord" on the chalk board) See? Chalk, thassa word. And board, thassa word, too, right?
Students: (nod their heads)
Nerd: I don't think that's how you spell...
Teacher: I say, boay, raise yer hand when yer gonna be talkin'!
Nerd: (raises hand) Sorry.
Teacher: Much better. OK, you, kid with the glasses. What is it?
Nerd: I'm fairly sure you've spelled those words wrong. Actually, I'm positive you spelled those words wrong.
Teacher: Oh really? Well, I'm negative I spelled 'em alright. Ya' like that; negative? Them's the kinda words ya learn when ya got a good ej-uh-kay-shun. That's what I'm tryna give you, an' it ain't happnin' with you questionin' everything I say, alright?
Students: (nod their heads)
Nerd: (hesitates, then nods reluctantly)
Teacher: Now, see, where was I... Oh, that's right, com-pound words. See, these are both words on their own, but when ya' put 'em ta-gether... (erases the words and writes them again with no space) ...They make ONE word! Now lemme give ya' another 'zample. Lesse... How about brandinarn? (writes it down) There's a com-pound word I'm sure ya'll use every day!
Nerd: Looking over the fact that you spelled that wrong--
Teacher: Now, do I really hafta remind you again that ya aughter be raisin' yer hand?
Nerd: (raises hand impatiently)
Teacher: OK, you with the glasses again.
Nerd: Well, like I said, looking over the fact that you spelled the words wrong--
Teacher: Hey, I thought we already settled that. I'm the teacher, and I know more than you; thatssa why yer the one learnin', and I'm the one learnin' ya stuff.
Nerd: But sir, branding iron isn't a compound word!!
Teacher: Whajasay?
Nerd: (points to chalkboard) I said that's not a compound word.
Teacher: Are you tryna tell me brandinarn is TWO words?!
Nerd: Pretty much.
Teacher: That's crazy talk, son!
Nerd: (sighs, gets up, and heads for the door)
Teacher: Hey, you! You can't be leavin' like that! I'm in the middle of a lesson!
Nerd: (ignores him and walks off)
Teacher: I will be talkin' to yer folks about this! ...wait, does anybody know who that boy's folks are? No? Well, we're gonna move on. (writes the word "ajutive" on the chalkboard) Now we're gonna learn about ajutives. Them's words that describe things and 'splain what they are.
Students: (nod their heads)
Teacher: Here's an example. (writes "mahtyfyn" on the chalkboard) This here spells mahty-fine, which, co-ins-uh-dennaly, is also a com-pound word...


...Well, that's about it for now. I think this post might have been a little short, but I dunno. It was a nice break, I guess, since it was more silliness, which you haven't been getting as much lately.

:::Source= Paul M-unit MKII
...Tranz-mish-un-- Apologies.
Transmission complete.